Why Your Resolutions Aren't Sticking
- Phoebe Irene
- Jan 7
- 4 min read
(and What Actually Works for Your ADHD Brain)
Let’s be real - how many times have you promised yourself “this year will be different, only to find your resolutions totally forgotten about by February 🙋🏻♀️ As an ADHD coach (and someone who has totally been there), I’m here to tell you something important: It’s not you, it’s your resolutions!
Traditional resolutions are basically designed to fail our ADHD brains. You know those vague “get your life together” goals that sound great on January 1st but feel impossible by the 15th? Yeah, let’s talk about why they’re not your friend and what actually works instead.
The ‘Too Much Too Soon” Trap
Raise your hand if you’ve ever written a resolution that essentially amounts to becoming an entirely new person by next Tuesday 🙋🏻♀️ been there! For our ADHD brains, that already struggle with executive function tasks (hello pile of boxes in my office I keep stepping around 📦) it’s like running a marathon when you haven’t even downloaded the Couch to 5K app yet.
The Timeline Problem
We're often told progress should be a straight line up 📈 But with ADHD, progress looks more like a squiggly line – and that's completely valid. Understanding this can free us from so much unnecessary guilt.
Working With Your Brain (Not Against It)
Instead of trying to force your square-peg brain into a round-hole resolution system, let's try something that actually works:
1. Create Systems That Don't Suck
Habit stacking (but make it fun): Already have a solid TikTok scrolling session with your morning coffee? ☕️ Perfect time to squeeze in a 5-minute stretch!
Visual reminders that actually work: Regular sticky notes not cutting it? Turn your mirror into a progress tracker with whiteboard markers. Or set phone wallpaper to a photo of your gym shoes. 👟 A little creative, a lot effective.
Find your accountability vibe: Team up with a friend for weekly goal check-ins over coffee, join an online challenge group, or share your progress on social media. Bonus points if you can make it feel more like a game than a chore."
2. Break It Waaaay Down
Instead of "get organised" try:
Pick ONE drawer to deal with this week. Just one. Make it the easy one.
Take before and after pics of organised spaces 📸 – hello, instant dopamine hit!
Set a 10-minute timer for decluttering. Once a week or once a month... or just once!
Create a "dump zone" by your door because let's be honest, you're going to drop everything there when you get home from work anyway. Make it official!
For productivity:
Pick your "if I do nothing else today" task
Start a 'done' list and watch it grow throughout the day - way more satisfying than a never-ending to-do list!
Try airplane mode for 30 minutes ✈️ (I know, scary, but you can do it!)
Find a body double – it's like having a gym buddy but for boring tasks
3. Make the Rewards Worth It
Your brain needs frequent rewards. Like, way more frequent than you think.
Here's how to make it fun:
Share wins in your Instagram stories
Create a reward system that actually motivates you (Netflix episodes work better than gold stars, just saying)
Pay yourself $1 into a “fun fund’ for each task you get done 💰
Celebration Station: All Aboard!
Time to normalise celebrating 🎉 EVERYTHING 🎉 And I mean everything:
Did something once? WINNING!
Remembered a thing? AMAZING!
Thought about maybe possibly doing something? PROGRESS!
Failed but tried again? RESILIENCE, BABY!
Did it differently than everyone else? INNOVATION!
Important Things To Remember
Progress is like a road trip: Detours, scenic routes, and unexpected stops are part of the adventure 🚗
Systems > Goals: Think of systems as your brain's favourite shortcuts - they make the hard stuff easier
Tiny wins add up: Like compound interest but for habits
Your timeline is like your coffee order: No need to match anyone else's
Different isn't wrong: There's no universal "right" way
Let's Do This: Your Actually-Doable Action Plan
Pick One Tiny Thing
Make it so small it feels almost silly
Seriously, even smaller than that
Attach it to something you already do without thinking
Set Yourself Up for Success
Make it obvious (like, neon signs obvious)
Remove the annoying barriers 🛑
Make the right choice the easy choice (work smarter, not harder!)
Get Your Support Squad
Find your people (they're probably on Instagram)
Schedule check-ins that don't feel like homework
Join communities where "same" is the most common comment
Document Your Journey
Take pics (even of the mess-ups) 📸
Celebrate every win (no matter how small)
Note what works (and what's a definitely doesn’t)
Remember: Your Brain Isn't Broken, It's Just Got a Different Operating System
Traditional resolutions are like trying to run Windows software on a Mac 💻 – no wonder things get glitchy! By working with your brain's natural tendencies (even the weird ones), you can create changes that actually stick.
Start tiny, celebrate wildly, and trust that your path is just as valid as anyone else's. Different isn't wrong – it's just different.
Ready to try? Pick just ONE tiny thing from this post. Something that made you think "huh, I could maybe do that." That's your starting point. And guess what? You don't need to wait for next January 1st – your fresh start can be right now, even if it's 3 pm on a random Thursday.
You got this 💖
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